I am 15 years old. I am 5'1''. And I weight (well, this is a guess; I don't dare weigh myself yet) 160 lbs. It might be more like 170 though.
I know what you're thinking. a) this girl is too young to be worrying about her weight and b) that's not that fat, there are people that weigh 300 lbs
I may be young, but I don't do this for aesthetic reasons. In fact, I think I look pretty good as is, but I don't want to end up morbidly obese and unable to move, which is exactly where I'm headed if I don't shape up (no pun intended). I may not be obese, but I am fat and getting fatter. It needs to stop.
I haven't always been fat. When I was a little girl, in early elementary school, my nickname was Slenderella. But around third grade, I was viciously bullied. I found solace in food, and gained 20 lbs in one month. And it never stopped. It's a terrible cycle. In middle school, I was bullied because I was fat, which only led me to eat more, which led to more bullying... There was no escape.
It's not that I haven't tried, either. New Years Day 2009 was when I finally got fed up. I bought myself a gym membership, and stuck to salads and water for two months. I lost ten pounds the first month, 5 the second, and from february on, was utterly incapable of losing any more weight. I went to the gym 3 times a week and jogged the other days, I ate less than 1500 calories a day (which is technically starvation, I know) but I lost nary a pound. So I went back to eating without worrying, and gained back those 15 lbs plus 5 more over the course of a year, weighing in now at 160 or so lbs.
It's hard in our household. I'm Italian to the bone, and we live in a very Italian manner. We eat pastas with wonderful home-made tomato and meat sauces, and have fabulous risottos and stuffed vegetables on a daily basis. The only problem is that we don't live in a city like we used to. We can't get the same amount of exercise just from walking like we used to when we lived in Pavia (in the north by Milano and Torino) and so all the extra calories from the carbs and fatty meats catch up to us. My whole family is fat. My mom complains, and my brothers deny it, but we are all fat. Except nobody wants to do anything about it except me.
I guess I can start with some details for today's food. Bad bad day. Breakfast was a small bowl of cheerios with 1% milk. That was okay. For lunch I had half a taco salad with chicken at Qdoba. This was bad. The salad was okay with the grilled chicken and lettuce, but was smothered in sour cream, guacamole, and fatty dressing, not to mention half the taco bowl that I ate. And the two glasses of Dr. Pepper I drank. Very, very bad. Dinner was homemade pasta with ricotta cheese, black pepper, and truffle oil. I probably could have done without the truffle oil, and the second serving. Dessert was a bowl of unsweetened strawberries, which was good. I did 50 crunches and 10 push ups today, but it was too cold out to run at all. I hope it gets warm soon, although we're headed to Utah for a weeklong ski trip in 5 days, and if I can manage to eat lightly, I might be able to lose as many as 5 lbs for that week, what with the intense cardio of downhill skiing.
Hopefully this blog can provide me with an outlet, a diary, and support. I'm jumping back into the fray. I, Caterina Rizzoni, pledge to do my best to become healthy, today, March 14, 2010. I am going to lose 10 lbs by June. With simple goals, and good eating, a sprinkle of weight lifting and a dollop of cardio, I am going to become the healthy person I want to be. No longer will I pant just from walking up the stairs. I will be able to run a mile without stopping, under 10 minutes even. And maybe I'll feel pretty again.
